Some of you will have decided that I am not a normal human being. Indeed, some of you will have realized that I am not really a human being at all. Humans are flesh and blood, while I am just plush and stuffing.

Us plushies are fundamentally different from you fleshies. When a man and a woman, who are very much in love (or lust) they go someplace and do something and as result a new child is produced. This is what normally happens (so my parents assure me) - a man and a woman get together and conceive a new life.

Not me!

In the mid '90s two guys got together and conceived of me and a few other kids, as characters in an adult cartoon. I guess this helps explain why I am different from most kids. The result was not just one of me - but many! According to my label, I was made in China sometime in 1999 - just one of thousands of identical plushie toys.

The factory there was not pleasant - in fact it was a complete hole. Overworked, underpaid staff working noisy machines. The atmosphere was so bad that my mouth became permanently fixed in a strange sort of anti-smile - and my facial expression one of permanent depression.

There were thousands of us - all nervous - newcomers to a strange and frightening world. Each of us an exact copy of the next - none had any sort of individual identity. Even in the deepest suffering, in the poorest village of the poorest region of poorest country each person has his (or her) own identity.

None of us did.

Each, as Pink Floyd put it, was another brick in the wall. Deprived of the most fundamental human right of all - an identity, we were alone, afraid - orphaned and with an uncertain future. A plushie next to me (his name was Stan) just stood, wide-eyed and sad. The rest of us just copied him.

We were packed, by the dozen, into plastic bags - the bags were sealed to prevent our escape. Then the bags were stuffed into boxes, and the lids closed and sealed.

That was the last time I saw daylight for several months.

Next...